What is attraction? It's not lust or love. It's not about thinking someone is handsome or even attractive. I don't think attraction is a feeling or emotion either.
I think it's a sense. Maybe like a sixth sense. It's wanting to know someone on a deeper level. See into their soul. What they're truly made of. What makes them cry. What makes them laugh. What makes them angry. Who has hurt them in the past and what their dreams are for the future.
I'm talking about the electricity between two people. Maybe it even brings them together - from across a crowded room or lead them to the same aisle in the grocery store. You see them and then smile because you finally realize you've been staring at them for the last minute and a half.
You have to learn to recognize it and listen to it though. Follow it. It's what brings you back to each other after a fight. It's what makes you want to touch them softly and squeeze them tightly.
You also need to be careful though. Sometimes we make ourselves believe we're attracted to that person because we just want SO badly to be with someone...which eventually becomes anyone. You want the relationship, not the person. And that's not fair to either one of you.
But sometimes we find something in that person that you believe in. That was always one of my problems. I would usually try to go after the untamable ones (for the challenge probably) but then become fixated on seeing the good in them. Knowing that they're better than what they're portraying. Knowing that even though the wall is high and the water rough, what's inside of them is worth it.
I can see it. But they don't want to - either at the time or ever. I loved them for what they were inside. Tragedy is passion. It just made me want to hold them closer, kiss them longer. Make them feel loved.
And it breaks my heart when they don't see what I see. When they don't believe in themselves enough to be loving in return.
SONG OF THE DAY: "To Make You Feel My Love" by Adele
Every time I hear this song, I think of the movie "Hope Floats." What do you do to make someone feel your love? Are they receptive? Which of the 5 Love Languages are you? If you haven't before, check out what your Love Language is. If you're in a relationship, see what your partner's Love Language is. Then compare. Because chances are you're trying to love someone the way you feel loved, not the way they feel loved. It may make a difference in your relationship.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Who Would I Take to Hawaii?
After spending a much-needed vacation in Hawaii, I have to say that it probably wasn't the best place to be single.
A lot of people go to Hawaii for their weddings, honeymoons, anniversaries, etc. Just to be together in paradise. Of course there are other things to do there, but you'll never escape the obvious nature of the couples.
I found myself envious of them. Wanting someone to hold hands with (which is a little bizzare for me anyway), dance with, watch the sunset with.
I've been to Hawaii five times now - never with a significant other. I think the only trips that I've ever taken that were "romantic" were Paris and Scotland about 10 years ago and Canton, OH.
Now, I know Canton, OH doesn't sound like a romantic place, but it turned out to be.
It was a first date too. Our plane rides were nonstop conversation and taking turns at the window seat. He was ruggedly handsome, probably still is. One of my friends and I nicknamed him "The Bass Fisherman." I always seemed to have nicknames for my boyfriends or dating adventures. It was more fun that way.
A few fun ones: The Lumberjack, The Citizen, Red/Green, Trip, Spot, Dot, and Tot. I dated the last three at the same time, and it was easier to have rhyming names for them in order for my friends to differenciate which one I was talking about. Tot actually turned out to have many names after that (#2, Mr. My Dating Life Sucks, and LAB to name a few)because I guess you could say that he became the "chosen one." I think that's only because Dot didn't have the talent of Whitman and Spot moved to the other side of the country. When I first started dating those three, it went in that order of preference: Spot, Dot, and Tot. Boy was I surprised when Tot ended up being the one that I really wanted to be with.
Anyway, back to the romantic Ohio date. He was SO excited to go. He said he'd "always wanted to go to Ohio." But then again, he had a child-like spirit about most things in life. He had the soul and eyes of a child, a heart of gold, the arms of a body builder, and the hair of a "Can't Believe It's Not Butter" celebrity. He swept me off my feet without even trying. He was naively thoughtful and brilliantly bashful. He could sing and dance. But he got my vote when he told me that he moved home to take care of his sick father and help with the farm.
He was too good to be true. In every aspect of his being. There was only one part of his life that he couldn't control. And during those times, he wouldn't call or come over for weeks at a time, which made it hard to be stable.
But Ohio hadn't revealed that yet. We did nothing special and yet it was the most special. We went to the Football Hall of Fame and the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame during the day and lavished in romantic candlelit dinners at night. We talked to the locals and retired to each other's company after midnight.
I'm happy to say Ohio wasn't the end of our time together. And it didn't stop being special and magical. But it did end.
He would've thrived in Hawaii.
It's funny though. I go to Hawaii once every year, at least. And there was a time when I swore I'd never go there. I refused to even mention it. I took the first step by actually going there, but now I just have to try to go a step further and be in love while I'm there.
SONG OF THE DAY: "Baby Can I Hold You Tonight" by Ale'a
I adore Hawaiian music, especially IZ's version of "Over the Rainbow." Their music almost makes you want to fall in love. It's soothing and holds your heart. I heard this song by Ale'a the 2nd time I'd been to Honolulu. I was waiting on hold for an activities operator to come on the line. This song was played over and over and over and over. Seriously, it was the only song they played. Needless to say, I got to know it very well and stayed in my head for years. Everytime I think of Hawaiian music, I think of this song.
A lot of people go to Hawaii for their weddings, honeymoons, anniversaries, etc. Just to be together in paradise. Of course there are other things to do there, but you'll never escape the obvious nature of the couples.
I found myself envious of them. Wanting someone to hold hands with (which is a little bizzare for me anyway), dance with, watch the sunset with.
I've been to Hawaii five times now - never with a significant other. I think the only trips that I've ever taken that were "romantic" were Paris and Scotland about 10 years ago and Canton, OH.
Now, I know Canton, OH doesn't sound like a romantic place, but it turned out to be.
It was a first date too. Our plane rides were nonstop conversation and taking turns at the window seat. He was ruggedly handsome, probably still is. One of my friends and I nicknamed him "The Bass Fisherman." I always seemed to have nicknames for my boyfriends or dating adventures. It was more fun that way.
A few fun ones: The Lumberjack, The Citizen, Red/Green, Trip, Spot, Dot, and Tot. I dated the last three at the same time, and it was easier to have rhyming names for them in order for my friends to differenciate which one I was talking about. Tot actually turned out to have many names after that (#2, Mr. My Dating Life Sucks, and LAB to name a few)because I guess you could say that he became the "chosen one." I think that's only because Dot didn't have the talent of Whitman and Spot moved to the other side of the country. When I first started dating those three, it went in that order of preference: Spot, Dot, and Tot. Boy was I surprised when Tot ended up being the one that I really wanted to be with.
Anyway, back to the romantic Ohio date. He was SO excited to go. He said he'd "always wanted to go to Ohio." But then again, he had a child-like spirit about most things in life. He had the soul and eyes of a child, a heart of gold, the arms of a body builder, and the hair of a "Can't Believe It's Not Butter" celebrity. He swept me off my feet without even trying. He was naively thoughtful and brilliantly bashful. He could sing and dance. But he got my vote when he told me that he moved home to take care of his sick father and help with the farm.
He was too good to be true. In every aspect of his being. There was only one part of his life that he couldn't control. And during those times, he wouldn't call or come over for weeks at a time, which made it hard to be stable.
But Ohio hadn't revealed that yet. We did nothing special and yet it was the most special. We went to the Football Hall of Fame and the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame during the day and lavished in romantic candlelit dinners at night. We talked to the locals and retired to each other's company after midnight.
I'm happy to say Ohio wasn't the end of our time together. And it didn't stop being special and magical. But it did end.
He would've thrived in Hawaii.
It's funny though. I go to Hawaii once every year, at least. And there was a time when I swore I'd never go there. I refused to even mention it. I took the first step by actually going there, but now I just have to try to go a step further and be in love while I'm there.
SONG OF THE DAY: "Baby Can I Hold You Tonight" by Ale'a
I adore Hawaiian music, especially IZ's version of "Over the Rainbow." Their music almost makes you want to fall in love. It's soothing and holds your heart. I heard this song by Ale'a the 2nd time I'd been to Honolulu. I was waiting on hold for an activities operator to come on the line. This song was played over and over and over and over. Seriously, it was the only song they played. Needless to say, I got to know it very well and stayed in my head for years. Everytime I think of Hawaiian music, I think of this song.
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