Need vs. Want

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between what you need and what you want in a relationship? And sometimes what you need and what you want may change with age and circumstances.

What I needed in a relationship a few months ago is not what I need in a relationship right now. But then since I'm not in a "steady" relationship, I seem to be focusing on what I want instead of what I need.

Have you ever met someone where the circumstances had to be "just right" in order to meet them? So then you wonder if there was a bigger reason as to why you met them.

I've been on hundreds of flights, maybe even thousands. Too many to count anyway. I've never really sat next to someone on an airplane and thought that I was in the right place at the right time kind-of-thing.

I've sat on an airplane next to someone and wanted to jump out of the emergency exit, but it wasn't until this last flight that I thought it may be more than a coincidence. I'm really not that chatty of a person on an airplane either. There are very few times that I talk to the person next to me. I usually just fall asleep or put in my ear phones. But when a cute boy is stuck in between you and the gentleman in the aisle seat on a 3-plus hour flight, well, let's just say I forgot that I even had an iPod to listen to.

We talked the entire flight, about everything. Then the end of the flight was closely approaching. I wondered what the protocol was. Do I ask for his number? Will he ask for mine? I didn't know and so I did nothing. But he happened to take charge at the right time. He handed me his card. Impressive? Yes. Then he asked for my number. Thank heavens there is still real men out there that take initiative!

But then I wondered what the protocol was for calling. Do I act like a guy and wait a week before calling? Do I text him because I don't know his schedule or if he really wants to talk to me? But once again, he played the role beautifully by calling first - and it only took him 2 days.

Fast forward now to our first date. It went so well. He is a complete gentleman. Opened the doors, pulled out my chair, paid for the meal (which he didn't need to do but was appreciated), and walked me to my car. So, he's either really good at this part or he's trying to impress me.

On the drive home, he called and said that he had a great time and he looks forward to seeing me again. Yep, he's good at this, but it also does impress me. I'm not normally impressed by this kind of stuff, but I told myself that I need to be more open to things and just let them happen. He seems considerate and that may be just what I need - because right now, I'm not exactly sure what I want.

SONG OF THE DAY: "Fearless Love" by Melissa Etheridge
I like the line about living my life on [my] happiness. I need to do more of that; figuring out what makes me happy and surrounding myself with it. I also like the message of the song. "I don't need to fear the end." "I want to feel this love." I'm pretty sure that I go into each of my relationships fearing the end. I assume that it won't work out and try to anticipate it before it happens. But what good does that do me? Why am I focusing on the end? I think I forget to be in the moment, to be in the relationship. I can't feel the love if it's there because I'm anticipating that even if it is there now, that it will end.
That is my relationship resolution: to not fear the end.