There's No Going Back

I don't know how I feel about a relationship where you go out, then break up, then go out again, and break up again... That seemed to happen in high school, but does it still happen to us as adults? Should it?

I've heard some people say that "an ex is an ex for a reason." Well, yeah. I get that. But then do we just give up on people being able to change? What kind of message does that send? That everyone has to be perfect? Don't make a mistake because I will dump you for it and not look back. You get one chance, so don't blow it.

How is that fair? How is that even human? No wonder we're creatures surrounded by disappointment. Some of our expectations are ridiculous, not to mention unrealistically demanding. You're not perfect, so why do you expect everyone else to be? Because someone held YOU to that standard and because it made such an impression on you, it must be a sound expectation.

I know why we say love hurts. We put so much into love; the ones we love. So, we get hurt by the expectations that we hold those people to; expectations that they're not even aware of. Then we wonder why they're confused at our disappointment and attitude. They should've known better; they should be know me well enough to read my mind.

I've even heard people say that they'll never go back to an ex; that they forget about them the minute it's over. Now, obviously I think that's a coping mechanism and a complete lie, but interesting enough to think about. I'd be lying if I said that I've never went out with an ex. Heaven knows that's not true! Second chances should've been my middle name for awhile. Those may have been cases where I had too much faith in the person.

I just don't think that we should limit ourselves with those kind of restrictions. If you leave and forget everyone that will ever hurt you or let you down, you'll be very alone in the end. And I believe no matter who you are, even if you say you'll never think of them again, you're lying. It may sound good and make you tough and resilient, but it's a lie and you know it. The more you try to forget, the more you first have to think about that person; telling yourself to forget them, trying to get them out of your head, heart, and hold.

You're not dealing with the issues of the relationship, which means they'll always be there. No resolution. No real ending. Always another chapter to the never-ending story. Get done with one. Resolve the issues. Move on.

Sometimes it's hard if you have to do the process alone and complete the unanswered questions by yourself, but that's not an excuse to keep the case cold. What you see, what you think you see, may not be the truth. But that doesn't matter. You can't control them, what they think or feel. You are only in control of you and your actions.

SONG OF THE DAY: "Not What You See" by Savatage
I believe this song is about misunderstandings and misperceptions. The expectations that others have on us that we don't understand. The bigger picture and living life in the moment. Forget the mystery of life and love, just experience it. Be the detective, not the reader of the novel. And not to judge a book by its cover.