Why do they say that love is enough when clearly it's never enough? If love was enough, then why do we want a family? Why do we need a bigger house? A more expensive car? A certain carat for our ring? Why aren't we just satisfied in a relationship when we're in love? Why do they need to get a promotion or make more money?
When is enough really enough?
It seems that most couples just coast through life getting married and having kids but never really spending time together until they've retired and the kids have grown. What are we teaching our children about marriage and relationships within your household? Children will pick up on the fact if you treat your spouse/partner with love and respect or you don't have time to even ask about their day. And children aren't the only one to pick up on it.
When you go into a relationship, do you ask yourself, "Will he love me forever" or "If I stay with him, when can I retire?" Why isn't our time with the ones we love about "the now."
Don't wait to take trips. Don't wait to say I love you. Don't wait to fall in love all over again.
I'm not saying this because of what can happen tomorrow; I'm saying it because of what can happen today. Why live your today's thinking only about tomorrow?
Celebrate something every day. Treat the ones you love as if every day is their birthday. Let the kids jump on the bed. Take time out for a picnic in the living room. Play the piano badly. Kiss him goodnight, every night.
Just live and love - because it IS enough.
SONG OF THE DAY: "How You Live" by Point of Grace
No one really ever died of a broken heart. The best things in life are usually free. When you're old and grey, and you look back at your life, what do you want to see and say? I wish I would've... I wish we would've... I always wanted to... I never got to... Don't let yourself say those things. There's still time to change your circumstance, your mind, and your heart. Don't waste your life. The only one stopping you from living your dreams...is you. If the ones around you truly love you, they won't stand in your way. They'll support you and be there with you every step of the way - being the first one to congratulate you and to say how proud they are of you.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
What Would You Do?
Have you ever had one last day with someone? Maybe you didn't know it was your last day, so you may have done something different if you had known. Think back to a relationship or argument with someone and it was the last time you saw them.
I have one very particular instance of this, but that's not where I'm going with this entry. As much as I hope this new instance doesn't end in tragedy like the other, I have no way of knowing.
I've never said so many goodbyes to one person. We knew it was going to be goodbye, but the "when" changed many times. This man was not my boyfriend, but he became a really great friend. Someone to just hang out with and laugh with - no expectations, no promises made. We just enjoyed each other's company and laughed A LOT.
We knew that he was leaving eventually. But we thought we had more time. That time was cut short by orders saying he needed to leave a whole month early and stay 3 months longer than anticipated. We still didn't know the exact date of his departure. We just knew we didn't have as much time as before.
Our relationship seemed to change a little. The things we talked about and the way we treated each other. We had tried the dating thing before and it wasn't what I wanted. What he was willing to give didn't interest me - what he was holding back is what interested me...but that was before.
He said it finally hit him. That he was going to war. I'm not sure it's hit me yet. He talked softer and looked at me longer. Every time we were together during that last week, we thought was going to be the last. But then we seemed to find another time or day to spend together.
We just seemed to do whatever we wanted with whatever time we had left. We ate junk food and went to movies, listened to music and danced around the house. We went shopping and ate ice cream. Nothing outwardly substantial, yet I loved every moment of it.
Nothing was established as far as what we feel or want from the other person. I think we both just didn't want to be alone. Now we did say a lot of things to each other that probably didn't make any sense or hope any significance, but many of our conversations weren't deep. A few of them, yes, but for the most part, it was kept light and free from argument.
I do miss his smile and his jokes (although most of them were crude). I was spoiled the first couple days he was gone because I still received an email every day, no matter if it was from the airport in Istanbul or a 150-person tent in Krygyzstan. I still felt like he was here.
But now that I haven't received one in a couple of days...I wonder. I think back to the last couple of days we hung out. I wonder if it should've been more substantial. Maybe we should've made it more memorable. Done more big things. Because what if it was our last?
I made him a card and shrunk it so it would fit in his wallet. It was a picture of an F-16 facing the sunset. The picture was fitting because he flies F-16's and will be flying the "vampire" shift. I wrote on the card, "During the ritual of the setting sun, know I look to the sky and pray for your safety...every night until you return."
My hope now is that he is safe and last week wasn't our last.
SONG OF THE DAY: "One More Day" by Diamond Rio
I used to listen to this song a long time ago when I lost someone very dear to me. It's not quite the same situation this time, but the possibility is there. It was hard to say goodbye multiple times thinking that every time was the last. But as I saw him board the plane, I knew it was our last time for a very long time. I heard this song on the radio as I was leaving his house one night. It was very fitting. It made me wonder what we would've done the next time and the next time...all the while thinking it was our last. We never really thought about it much or planned our time together. We just did what we wanted, when we wanted. The song is right though...it would've left me "wishing still for one more day."
I have one very particular instance of this, but that's not where I'm going with this entry. As much as I hope this new instance doesn't end in tragedy like the other, I have no way of knowing.
I've never said so many goodbyes to one person. We knew it was going to be goodbye, but the "when" changed many times. This man was not my boyfriend, but he became a really great friend. Someone to just hang out with and laugh with - no expectations, no promises made. We just enjoyed each other's company and laughed A LOT.
We knew that he was leaving eventually. But we thought we had more time. That time was cut short by orders saying he needed to leave a whole month early and stay 3 months longer than anticipated. We still didn't know the exact date of his departure. We just knew we didn't have as much time as before.
Our relationship seemed to change a little. The things we talked about and the way we treated each other. We had tried the dating thing before and it wasn't what I wanted. What he was willing to give didn't interest me - what he was holding back is what interested me...but that was before.
He said it finally hit him. That he was going to war. I'm not sure it's hit me yet. He talked softer and looked at me longer. Every time we were together during that last week, we thought was going to be the last. But then we seemed to find another time or day to spend together.
We just seemed to do whatever we wanted with whatever time we had left. We ate junk food and went to movies, listened to music and danced around the house. We went shopping and ate ice cream. Nothing outwardly substantial, yet I loved every moment of it.
Nothing was established as far as what we feel or want from the other person. I think we both just didn't want to be alone. Now we did say a lot of things to each other that probably didn't make any sense or hope any significance, but many of our conversations weren't deep. A few of them, yes, but for the most part, it was kept light and free from argument.
I do miss his smile and his jokes (although most of them were crude). I was spoiled the first couple days he was gone because I still received an email every day, no matter if it was from the airport in Istanbul or a 150-person tent in Krygyzstan. I still felt like he was here.
But now that I haven't received one in a couple of days...I wonder. I think back to the last couple of days we hung out. I wonder if it should've been more substantial. Maybe we should've made it more memorable. Done more big things. Because what if it was our last?
I made him a card and shrunk it so it would fit in his wallet. It was a picture of an F-16 facing the sunset. The picture was fitting because he flies F-16's and will be flying the "vampire" shift. I wrote on the card, "During the ritual of the setting sun, know I look to the sky and pray for your safety...every night until you return."
My hope now is that he is safe and last week wasn't our last.
SONG OF THE DAY: "One More Day" by Diamond Rio
I used to listen to this song a long time ago when I lost someone very dear to me. It's not quite the same situation this time, but the possibility is there. It was hard to say goodbye multiple times thinking that every time was the last. But as I saw him board the plane, I knew it was our last time for a very long time. I heard this song on the radio as I was leaving his house one night. It was very fitting. It made me wonder what we would've done the next time and the next time...all the while thinking it was our last. We never really thought about it much or planned our time together. We just did what we wanted, when we wanted. The song is right though...it would've left me "wishing still for one more day."
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