I Will Say "I Won't"

I find it ironic that the saying I've heard so many times, "the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body," is a lie. The reason I find it ironic is that the tongue is used to lie; therefore, it produces misconception upon itself.

It's also ironic that the tongue is what jumpstarts the digestive system - most of what touches the tongue becomes...well, shit. So, the tongue "produces" or "assists" in the creation of shit...in 2 ways.

What comes out of people's mouths can also be shit. What they say...what they promise...what they claim to be gospel truth. Even their eyes can lie to you. Actors do it all the time...get their eyes to lie - I didn't mean to insinuate actors lie all the time (that would be a whole other blog topic).

The song says, "The Heart Won't Lie." I find that title or message interesting. It's not titled "The Heart Doesn't Lie." It goes further to say it "won't" lie - as if it's incapable or not something it's willing to do.

Our heart is one of the few things in our body we can't will or boss around. We can't make it feel something it doesn't - or won't. How is it that I can practice walking, as if it's second nature, and eventually my brain tells my legs to walk. But I can't practice loving someone and then one day tell my brain to love them and I will.

I'm sure that I'm not alone when I say that I've asked my heart to stop beating at one time or another, so I didn't have to feel the pain. But it won't stop. It won't stop beating until it decides, or God decides (depending on what you personally believe). And then sometimes when it does stop, it can't even be revived with an AED or some kind of shock device.

And when you fall in love, it's not something to tell yourself to feel. It happens without will or practice. Maybe that's where they come up with the phrases "fall in love" or "fall out of love." Illuding to stumbling upon it (or out of it) or unsuspecting.

The hard part is not to fall in love or fall out of love; that seems too easy for some people. The hard part is staying in love, staying in that stumbled, unsuspecting state and feeling comfortable in it. I'm no expert on the subject, but here's what I was thinking about. The feeling you had when you "fell in love" can't be the same feeling that you have while you're in it - unless you continue to fall in love with them all over again.

Keep going with me on this one...

When you fall, literally fall, what do you do afterwards? You're not in a continual fall. You hit the ground. Let's say you hit the ground running. Now, there could be 2 types of this; two very different types. You could hit the ground running as far away from love as possible...or...or you could hit the ground running, full speed into the next stage of love.

What else do you do when you fall? You could either lay there and wait for someone to come along and pick you up, or you can dust yourself off and get a head start on the one coming along.

But, no matter what you do after you fall, everyone looks around and wonders who saw them...now, that could either create a feeling of embarrassment or laughter (nervous or otherwise). Why do we care if someone saw us fall in love? It's not like we can stop it. You don't control your heart. It's not your job to control it. It may be your job to decipher what it's saying to you, but don't try to control it. It won't work. You'll just end up frustrated with yourself...and still feeling the same you did when you started. The only difference is that you are more than likely alone now, in your love.

I believe that you can love someone even if they don't love you. God loved me WAY before I loved Him. (I threw that WAY in there for my geographic peeps - your silly lingo.) If you're a parent and your child says they hate you, do you still love them? Even if they really do hate you? You don't just stop loving because it's not reciprocated. If someone dies (passes on), do you stop loving them because they can't love you anymore? I know the answer to this one first hand, NO. No, you don't just stop loving. No matter how hard we may try; we don't. We can't. I say, we won't.

SONG OF THE DAY: "Can't Stop Loving You" by Phil Collins
I know the song is titled with "Can't," but the chorus says, "Cuz I can't stop loving you / No I can't stop loving you / No I won't stop loving you..." I like that he says "can't" first, two times, and then says "won't" - as if it's more powerful and submissive.
I also like that I can tie a little of the lying part in here as well. He says, "Well, I could say everything's alright / and I could pretend and say goodbye / But that would be lying..." And then, of course, the chorus echo of "Why should I? / Why should I? / Why should I, even try?"

I know that I need to learn to submit to my feelings more. I try to control them, with no positive outcome I might add. And although I may not have a choice on whom I fall in love with and whom I don't, my choice becomes what I do afterwards. Do I lay there, helpless and feeling very alone...or do I realize that I can't control whom I love anymore than anyone else and get up and get on with it...? You also have a choice afterwards of how you treat those you love, loved, or want to love you. If you treat them badly and want to hurt them, it probably wasn't true love. You may have just fallen into a mud hole and blamed it on love. Love may be blind, but not because you have mud in your eye.