First Dates

I've always wondered if there are unspoken rules in dating, and if there are, are they different for men than they are for women?

Is it being too forward to touch, hug, kiss, whatever else your imagination thinks of on a first date? Maybe it just depends on the couple.

I used to have very specific rules when I was dating. And I'd be very upfront about them. I even had a dating rule book; that may have been part of my problem. Trying to control and manipulate each situation - thinking if I did, it would be perfect.

I only believed in love at first sight in high school, before my heart was jaded. When you're young, you believe anything is possible; that you have the time and attention to do...anything. And I guess I'm skeptical now. I wonder if it's still possible to feel the kind of love I did in high school.

First dates when you're older I think are more difficult. You're more experienced, but you're also very aware that it may not work out. You spend more time analyzing and weighing the pros and cons than getting to know that person intimately, which is what you really want. It is more like an interview than just dinner and conversation. You have more to tell and more to hide.

As a teenager, first dates are very different than first dates as an adult. As an adult, there are conflicts and schedules to work around. The worry of "I can't stay out too late cause I have to go to work in the morning," which unfortunately is usually the excuse.

I'll reminisce on one of my first dates as a teenager. I worked SO hard to get this guy to go out with me. I was a freshman, he was a sophomore. I was so nervous to even talk to him. Now, even though my mom always told me to let them pursue me, I just couldn't. My heart was telling me to move, and my head was just trying to catch up. There was an FHA dance coming up, and I couldn't ask him out - or let one of my friends ask him for me! So, I did the next best thing: a secret admirer gift.

My best friend and I skipped school one day (a frequent ritual) and drove to the nearest big city to shop for the perfect gift. I picked out a maroon, long-sleeved thermal shirt. I wrapped it up with a card that said, "I want to meet you. If you want to meet me, wear this shirt to the dance on Friday." My best friend and I took it over to his house (we had this all planned out). We rang the door bell and when he answered, my friend said that this package was on the step when we got here. We're so clever.

He opened the gift in front of us, which wasn't part of the plan. I remember thinking he didn't look too impressed. Maybe he had a girlfriend I didn't know about. He was dreamy! He invited us in because we said that we were there to see his brother (which wasn't a complete lie). I stressed about whether or not he'd wear the shirt - and totally forgot that even if he wore the shirt, he may not be excited about the person who got it for him. One worry at a time I guess.

The night rolled around and I walked into the gym, and there he was...standing on a ladder putting up last minute decorations - wearing the shirt. I stopped breathing. I hadn't planned this far ahead. I had no idea how I'd tell him or when. The time just didn't feel right.

The dance went on. I was dancing with other boys, he with other girls. Then the last slow song was announced. It was like a movie. I was on one side of the gym, him on the other - and we were looking right at each other. We walked toward one another like no one else was around. I was so focused on him that I didn't notice another girl come in and cut me off. I felt foolish and turned away. Then someone grabbed my hand. I didn't have to say a word. It would've spoiled the mood. He knew it was me the whole time, and no one had to tell him. He just knew.

I still remember the song that was playing, "Angels Among Us" by Alabama. At that moment, I didn't realize how significant that song and this man would be in my life. And unfortunately, our time together was short-lived, but the love I feel will never leave.

Best first date ever.

That's hard to surpass. I've had a few close seconds, but never imprinted on my heart like that one. I wonder though...if I had a date like that now, at thirty, would I cherish it like I did then? If I didn't, I wouldn't be worthy of it anyway.

SONG OF THE DAY: "To Be With You" by David Archuleta
This song may have a little different meaning for me than others listening. But when I hear it, I look up at the stars, trying to see past them into Heaven. Some days I am waiting for the stars to fall and two worlds to collide...to be with him.