I've always wondered if there is really just one person that we're supposed to be with. Just one. And sometimes we tell ourselves there's no one out there for us.
It seems like we tell ourselves these two things depending on where we are in our lives and with our relationships. If you're in the early stages of a romance, you may be saying to yourself that "this is the one." But a couple of years down the road, it isn't working out anymore and you don't know what you want to do...stay in it and see OR start the process all over again.
You decide to start over. Brave decision. It's cowardly to stay in something just because it's safe. You date a few different guys, none of them are working out - and that's when you either say to yourself, "I should've stayed with [what's his name]," OR "I'll never find what I'm looking for; he just doesn't exist."
My true, deep down in my heart, feeling is that there is only one. Just one. Now, I've heard the arguments and played devil's advocate for my own thoughts on this. Maybe it's just a childhood fantasy; I don't know.
Some animals believe this way also:
Black vultures discourage infidelity. All nearby vultures attack any vulture caught philandering.
The tiny male anglerfish detects and follows the scent trail of a female of his own species. Once found, he bites his chosen one and hangs on. His skin fuses to hers, their bodies grow together. (They take the "two become one" philosophy literally.)
It's also said that many birds (swans, doves, eagles, and penguins to name a few) hold out for their one true love. Maybe that's where the phrase "love birds" comes from. Maybe not, I don't know anything about birds. It's a cute thought though.
I may just not like the thought of being able to be with anyone. I'm a loyal person and I also believe in things happening to you for a specific reason at a particular moment in time. That there is a bigger purpose than merely walking in and out of daily life for our own amusement. And that feeling comes from the same place that my love comes from.
On the flip side, I'd hate to go through life thinking that I'm supposed to be with someone else (than the person I'm with) because he doesn't feel like "the one." I don't want to settle, but how do you really know when you've found that one? People always say, "You just know."
Maybe it just takes time to know and find the right one. It doesn't necessarily mean that we're not supposed to meet other people and be with them for some other reason until we do meet them, until we're ready.
Here's to my (potential) one and only.
SONG OF THE DAY: "If You're Not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield
Honorable mentions go to: "The One" by Gary Allan and "What If It's You" by Reba McEntire. There are SO many songs claiming that there is only "one." I listened to the Daniel Bedingfield song over and over and over and over in college. I was waiting for the CD to just stop working; I listened to it so much. I guess I liked it because I asked myself those same questions in a lot of my relationships or at the end of them.
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Not a criticism, but I'm curious about your thoughts: If there's just one, am I foolish to date now that Ron is gone?
ReplyDeleteNo. I don't think so. I think even though you may love someone, get married, have children, etc. that doesn't necessarily mean that was your one true love.
ReplyDeleteNow, yes, it could've been, but that doesn't mean that if you're not with them anymore that you must be alone either.
I think that, as humans, we are capable of loving many different people in our lifetime. But I still believe there's only one "true" love.
I struggle with the possibility that I've already met mine as well.